You set a goal. You get excited. You tell yourself, this time, you're really going for it.
And then… you don’t.
Maybe you start, but lose momentum. Maybe you keep waiting for the ‘right time.’ Maybe you get overwhelmed and give up.
Sound familiar?
So why does this happen? Why do so many people struggle to follow through on their goals, their plans, their resolutions, even when they genuinely want change?
As a psychologist, a spiritual guide, and someone deeply familiar with the ups and downs of human motivation, I’ve seen this pattern play out countless times. The truth is: change is complex. There’s no one-size-fits-all reason why people stay stuck. Instead, it’s often a combination of psychological patterns, life-experiences, energy dynamics, and subconscious beliefs.
Let’s break it down.
1. The Psychology of Commitment & Avoidance
From a psychological perspective, willpower fluctuates like an emotion: it comes and goes. If you rely solely on willpower, you’ll only take action when you feel like it. But real change isn’t about how you feel. It’s about commitment: choosing to show up even when it’s uncomfortable.
Some key psychological reasons people don’t follow through and can lead to self-sabotage:
Fear of failure – If you never try, you can’t fail.
Fear of success – Change can be intimidating. What if life looks totally different?
Lack of urgency – Sometimes, the pain isn’t strong enough yet to act as a catalyst for change.
Comfort zone addiction – Even if it’s uncomfortable, it’s familiar—and the brain prefers familiarity over the unknown.
Overwhelm & perfectionism – If the goal feels too big, you may freeze and do nothing.
Mental health factors - Depression, ADHD, trauma, anxiety, etc can have a huge impact on motivation.
Previous experiences & subconscious beliefs - You might have tried before and failed, so now you don't believe it's possible for you anymore.
Insufficient support - Others belief in you can give you wings to fly, while the lack of it can knock the air right out of your lungs.
2. The Spiritual Perspective: Why Some Goals Just Don’t Stick
Not every dream or goal is truly yours. Society, family, or your own ego may have convinced you that you should pursue something when, deep down, it’s not aligned with your highest good, purpose, or even desire.
Some reasons your goals may not be sticking:
It’s not your soul’s path – If something feels forced or exhausting, it may not be right for you.
The timing isn’t right – Sometimes, divine timing is at play, and patience is required.
You haven’t fully embodied the version of you that has the result – If your identity is still rooted in lack, it’s hard to see limitless possibilities and sustain new habits.
Blocks and resistance – Subconscious fears, ancestral patterns, or past life blocks could be holding you back.
3. Human Design & Your Motivation Blueprint
Human Design can offer valuable insights into how you are naturally wired to take action. Generally speaking:
Manifestors – Need to initiate when the urge strikes, but burnout easily if they force things.
Generators & MGs – Thrive when following what excites them, but lose motivation if they’re not lit up by a goal.
Projectors – Need to wait for the right invitations and not push themselves into exhaustion.
Reflectors – Must check in with themselves over time before making big decisions.
Understanding your energy type helps you work with yourself rather than against yourself.
On top of that, there are several areas in your Human Design Chart that can shed some light on your (lack of) motivation, so you can understand the internal dynamics and what you need to actually make the changes you're longing for. If you'd like some help with that, I offer a specific Human Design Reading just for this purpose! It's called "Mission, Motivation & Momentum Mastery" and it's for you if you want clarity around your purpose/mission/direction, have a specific goal in mind that you want to pursue, want to overcome your obstacles and fears, are stuck in inaction or are taking action you know is not helping you, and want to tap into your kind of motivation and start taking action!
4. Survival Mode & The Freeze Response
If you’ve ever felt paralyzed when trying to take action, it could be your nervous system keeping you stuck. Trauma, chronic stress, or unresolved emotions can put you in fight-flight-freeze-fawn mode. If your body perceives change as a threat, you may unconsciously sabotage yourself.
How to shift:
Regulate your nervous system through breathwork, tapping (EFT), or movement.
Take micro-steps instead of overwhelming yourself with huge leaps.
Build safety in your body by practicing self-trust and small wins.
Of course, I'm here for you if you ever need help doing that! But you do have to be motivated. Why I say this: in my work as a psychologist I've come across people who said they wanted to work on something (their well-being, health, lifestyle, relationships, goals, etc) but when push came to shove, they didn't step up. They said they would do their homework, but came back with excuses. They weren't willing to face the discomfort. And that's ok. But don't ask me (or someone else) for help if you're not willing to actually put in the work. Nobody can do it FOR you. And I can sense pretty quickly if I'm more committed to your results than you are ;)
5. How to Actually Follow Through (Even When Motivation Runs Out)
1. Recommit daily. Treat your goal like a relationship—show up for it every day, even in small ways.
2. Align your goal with your energy. If it feels draining, ask yourself: Is this truly for me? Make your goals something so appealing, that you feel it's pull instead of having to push yourself towards it.
3. Make it non-negotiable. Successful people don’t wait to feel like doing something. They do it because they decided to.
4. Address deeper fears. What scares you about achieving this goal? Name it. Work through it.
5. Get the right support. Therapists, coaches, mentors, and accountability partners can help, but remember, you have to do the work.
Final Truth Bomb
No one is coming to save you. No one is going to hand you your dream life on a silver platter. Change is in your hands.
So, are you just interested in your goals? Or are you committed to making them happen?
If you've tried "everything" and still believe that this goal, this change, this progress is possible for you and you're willing to give it your all, let's talk!
Love, Kinga.
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